Today made me really pause and reflect on those events in our lives in which nothing can prepare us or help us through–we just have to go on through it.
In my blog entry Blessing of fear, I talked about fear in fiction, fantasy, or play helped children grow to cope through dealing with real fear later on. But sometimes there is nothing that can prepare a child, no coaching to guide them, and no delayed gratification that can incentivize them. But you the adult know (hopefully, theoretically) that they will be okay and this can turn into something that can help them later on.
You’ve probably seen something like this in the form of a small child’s first real separation from mom and dad. That one kid on the first day of kindergarten that absolutely panics when mom drops him/her off, clinging to her pant leg–“NOOOOOO!!!”
It’s almost comical to everyone on the outside because they know better. But that child is being devastated before our eyes. He has no past experience to draw from; no confidence to take care of himself; no reason to think everything will be ok. In the end you just have to pry him off and turn your back on him–walk out and know it will work out.
You’ve probably seen adults go through it too. When they are abandoned by their partners, betrayed by friends or family, lose a child, find out they’re terminally ill…
“Experience is a brutal teacher. By you learn–my god, you learn.”